Updated: Apr 23, 2020
By Angela Powell
Student Life Communications Specialist
Here at the Powell house, we were without power for an hour and a half. How did we survive, you ask? We barely even know ourselves. Thank God we all made it. :)
Earlier that morning, I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, flustered, frustrated. We're out of coffee creamer. My kid is constantly taking Snapchat selfies. Everybody has coronavirus. I didn't want to "go to work;" the commute from my bedroom to the corner of my bedroom just felt so far. All of it hit me. I'm done. I'm finished being so very human.
Then the power outage struck. It felt a little other-worldly. All around me was quiet, dark, still.
I'd love to say I spent that small slice of silence cuddled up in a chair reading The Word with a candle burning. Or that I stepped out into the warmth of the sun and breathed deeply while I hugged my shoulders. Thank you, Jesus, for YOUR POWER when OUR POWER fails. Nope. I used the rest of my dwindling phone charge puttering away messages to my bosses and friends. Well, it's the end. I'm saying goodbye now. Here's one last GIF to keep you going. Remember me.
Just when it seemed all hope was lost, shooom. It was light! I was alive! I could microwave my cup of coffee. Sure, I'll jump on Slack. Yes, I'm ready to Zoom. I am smiling! The mystery of life is unfolding all around me.
Wait a second.
My emotions and thoughts swirled around me, rushing over me like water from a broken dam. Obvious connections filled my mind, these moments without light reminding me of the dark times surrounding us. So many people are sick, in trouble, running out of necessities, broken, hurting, and I feel utterly helpless, powerless in the midst. Then, a quiet, peaceful thought entered my mind:
"MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS..."1 Corinthians 12:9
God-moments comes so effortlessly, don't they? Unexpected, yet predictable. It is so Jesus to take a seemingly small human, self-centered experience like losing power and blow up my mind and heart with it! This moment ushered me into the moment I admitted that I had been distracting myself from my tumultuous emotions with fact-finding and silly memes, video chats and handwashing. Yet, at the core of me, I was scared and broken-hearted.
A man from our church passed away this week from COVID-19. My husband spoke verses of peace over the phone, but could not visit, could not touch. Helpless. In this man's last moments, his wife being under quarantine could not sit by his side. Powerless.
Jesus, I don't know how to do this coronavirus. I don't know how to isolate and connect deeply. I don't know how to stay at arm's distance and love well. I don't know how to be brave for my family. But I do know you are the Source who can conduct this love through me when I don't know how. It's You, Jesus. It's only You.
He still is in control and will grasp us in His mighty hands as He held the dear couple even when they could not hold on to one another.
I pray that we offer up to Him our powerlessness, our fears, our honest emotions. I pray that we cling to Jesus to know how to better take care of one another. I pray that the all-surpassing power and love of God would attach to our brains and hearts so stickily that we couldn't shake Him if we tried. I pray that we let Jesus and only Jesus, power us up.